3 Stages of Transformation
Embrace Your Transformation into Your BEST Self.
Transformation
In my last blog 4 Steps to Being Your BEST Self, I suggested that you try embracing change and using it to your advantage. Proactively choose how to transform into your BEST self. Start with the basic elements of transformation:
Butterfly Formation
Communication
Evolution
Embrace changes to use less energy and enjoy the ride. Resistance causes suffering. Worrying about negative possibilities causes suffering even when they do not actually happen. So instead be curious about your positive possibilities and invite them to happen. Accept your commitment to form your butterfly from all the experience you’ve accumulated until now. Communicate with yourself and others in a way that invites positive transformation. Embrace the evolution of your belief system, your response system and your health system. Evolve your systems to align with your BEST self.
Butterfly Formation
“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively. “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”
Trina Paulus in Hope for the Flowers
The transformation of a butterfly is amazing. As caterpillars, they are totally focused on consuming as much as they can until they’re full to bursting, then they just naturally saunter into a corner and begin their transformation. They surround themselves with a protective layer of thick skin, then dissolve their caterpillar identity into a hot mess of soupy goop. They begin the formation of a butterfly, using all the raw substance to make perfect beautiful wings on a perfectly aligned body. The butterfly has to work through the struggle of breaking out of its chrysalis, or it will not be strong enough, and it will die. Once freed of its shell, it unfolds its wings. The wings need to dry, then the butterfly can take flight. It truly is an amazing transformation.
Be like a caterpillar, living each day fully, not knowing it will transform until the time has arrived, then it naturally and willingly goes through its transformation.
Humans may not change quite as dramatically as a caterpillar to a butterfly, yet our transformation is just as amazing, and we get the added bonus of being able to transform more than once in many cases. As children we absorb everything we can with the same single-minded focus as the caterpillar until we’re full to bursting. Then we saunter into our corner and start puberty, hopefully building our layer of “thick skin” sufficiently strong enough to contain the hot mess inside. We emerge on the other end as adults by struggling out of our shell to gain our personal strength. We unfold our wings, and when they’re dry and strong, we fly off on our own.
I think of middle age as another period of transformation. As I became an empty nester, I proudly watched my son spread his wings, and I began to explore my next phase of life. My eclectic array of career paths and personal roles did not seem to make sense to me as I went through them. Not many people flow through accounting, art, and academic therapy in addition to family roles. Yet I wrapped myself in a chrysalis as I experienced the hot mess of empty nesting and of a dear brother’s death, and somehow I managed to make a beautiful set of wings and brought myself back into alignment. I dried my wings and began to fly in my next evolution as a life coach, surprising myself by how much my previous careers played a major part in my new career.
You may not be going through a major transformation, yet the principles still apply. You may have already gone through your transformation and just want to make sense of it. Take all the time you need to integrate your transformation.
In this modern world, everything is rushed, and a lot is missed or is taken for granted. You may have chastised yourself for taking so long to get where you are, but you had to remain a caterpillar until you understood and gained enough skills to be able to transform. If you have not yet transformed, then be patient and stay focused. If you’ve recently broken out of your shell, then patiently allow yourself time to adjust to the new you. Your wings have to dry to be strong enough to fly. Take your time and soon you’ll be soaring to new heights.
Communication
A successful transformation requires positive self-talk, calm centered communication with others and a constant redirection of yourself to a centered state to allow yourself the time and energy you need to transform and to maintain your BEST self..
How do you talk to yourself? Do you beat yourself up over your mistakes? Or do you learn the lesson and move on? Do you shame yourself into not even trying to do something new? Or do you give it your best effort and either succeed or at least move closer to your goal? Do you believe in Murphy’s Law that everything that can go wrong will? Or do you set intentions for the best to happen and accept everything that happens?
Intentions and affirmations work. Not because of some sort of magic, but as a natural result of your positive energy. When you think and feel shame, separation or lack, you have less energy from negative thoughts and emotions literally draining you, and your body contracts to protect yourself. When you think and feel positive affirmations, intentions and enthusiasm, your energy expands proportionately to empower you to take action toward your goals, increasing your likelihood of attaining them. So be your own best friend and constantly boost your energy with positive affirmations and intentions. You deserve a wonderful fulfilled life.
How well do you communicate with others? Do you approach others with fear or anxiety, not knowing what will happen during the encounter or expecting the worst case scenario? Or do you approach others with confidence and good intentions for the encounter? Send the other person a positive intention or good energy. They will feel it and typically respond in kind, unless their energy is depleted for some reason. Even then, your positive energy will at least influence theirs to some degree. The best case scenario is just as likely as the worst case scenario, so why not choose the best and feel better from the start?
The best communication with others starts with active listening. Do you try to anticipate what the other person is going to say or try to figure out what you’re going to say next instead of listening to the other person? Instead try to approach the other person with curiosity and then listen to what they actually say before responding.
When someone says you “should” do something, you automatically resist, because it’s human nature. Even when you tell yourself that you “should” do something, you will resist. So instead, I invite you to change your words. Instead of saying “I should have good habits”, try saying, “I would love to have good habits, because I would feel so much better mentally, emotionally and physically.” Isn’t that a lot more inviting?
The best way to start any communication is to center yourself into a positive state of being. You can transform yourself as easy as 1-2-3.
Bring an image to mind of an accomplishment that boosted your self-esteem and confidence. Feel that confidence and esteem now.
Bring an image to mind of a heartfelt relationship, and allow that feeling to bring a smile to your face. Feel that love now.
Bring an image to mind of something that represents a sense of your abundant health and wealth. Feel that sense of abundance now.
When you combine the feelings generated by those images, you can’t help but feel a mental, emotional and physical boost in your energy. Use this exercise to set your state any time you need to shift your energy.
Evolution
Transformation is a process that results in your evolution to a greater, stronger, more mature version of yourself. The degree to which you evolve depends on your level of acceptance of change and of all that happens without putting a negative spin on it.. You can choose to accept the changes as they happen and to be proactive in evolving toward your next level of your life spiral. Have you ever noticed that similar events happen more than once? Each time you face a similar challenge, you meet it with a more mature experience, because you have evolved to your next level. Proactively evolve your belief system, your response system and your health system.
You can evolve your belief system by shifting your mindset. Transform to a more empowered confident self by releasing limiting beliefs. Most limiting beliefs revolve around a sense of shame or not being good enough, a sense of isolation and/or a sense of lack. Transform your beliefs to affirm that you deserve a wonderful life, you can have wonderful relationships, and you can receive all you need to fulfill your life purpose.
You can evolve your response system by shifting from reactions to response-ability. Communicate love and positive energy to yourself and others by setting your state as described above and by energize yourself with positive affirmations and intentions. Face any fear you may experience before communicating. Challenge the fear and realize that you are strong enough to face even the worst case scenario. Then invite the best case scenario. Love conquers fear, so instead of reacting in fear, respond with love.
You can evolve your health system by taking care of your elemental needs - air, water, earth, fire and aether. Instead of saying, “I should take care of my needs”, try saying “I love myself and my rejuvenating nourishing rituals.” Doesn’t that sound more inviting?
Air is the breath of life that no one can live without. It is the only autonomic system that you have some control over. You can slow your breath to reduce stress and return to rest and digest. Take a few minutes to calm your breath to destress frequently throughout the day. You can also enjoy a meditation ritual designed to fit your lifestyle.
Water is the second elemental need. You can only live a few days without hydration. You can also benefit from salt baths or swimming in the ocean. Make it easy to drink plenty of water throughout the day. Create rituals to increase your consistency.
Earth provides us with all the nutrients we need. Eat as close to nature as possible. Notice how your food choices make you feel. Watch how you talk about your food. If you tell your body that something is bad for you, then eat it anyway, your body will go into defense mode and you probably won’t feel well afterward. Accept your choices, making the best that you can at this moment, and limit your quantities to suit your needs. Treat your body with love and care, so it will support the life you love.
Fire represents the sun and physical movement, which increases your metabolism and energizes you. Sunlight and nature boost mental, emotional and physical health. Physical movement is needed throughout the day. Think of easy ways to fit extra movements into your routine. Stretch like a cat. Do a few squats, push ups or planks in between projects. Be creative with your ideas.
Aether includes all your intangible needs for security, belonging, esteem and actualization. Align your choices with your vision for your BEST life, so you can be happy, healthy, wealthy and wise. Consciously choose to evolve all aspects of your health system.
Going Deeper with Being Your BEST Self
In the next two blog posts, I will discuss the steps to being your BESt self in more depth.
3 Keys to Inspirational Storytelling
Share Your BEST Stories as Treasures
3 Ways to Multiply Your Talents
Amplify Your Talents to Be Your BEST