15 Bits of BT’s Relationship Wisdom

Although BT was not the smartest breed of dog, she managed to share a lot of wisdom about relationships.

When BT died at 15 years old, I was inspired to capture her essence in writing. What evolved from my process was a list of 15 things BT taught me, even when she didn’t realize she was doing so.

1. Trying to get closer to people by letting them walk all over you just isn’t worth it.

When BT was a puppy, she would literally walk under our feet trying to get closer to us, so my husband called her the slipper dog.

2. You don’t need to have the perfect words to make someone feel better, just being with them and listening is perfect.

Any time I was feeling depressed or ill, I could count on BT snuggling up next to me and making me feel better. You can easily meditate by petting your dog.

3. Giving your loved ones your best gifts makes you feel wonderful, and you let them feel gratitude.

BT was a Shih Tzu and therefore a ratter, but in her case, a mouser. She would catch them and bring them to me as a gift.

4. Exercise is much more fun when you do it with a friend.

She loved walking around the neighborhood. She also loved to be on me or under me as I did sit ups and push ups.

5. When you do all the work, don’t be too quick to give away all the fruits of your labor, yet sometimes you want to share.

BT was digging intently and found some tulip bulbs. She shared some of my tulips with me.

6. You don’t have to be the smartest to be loveable.

Her breed was only #66 of 72 in intelligence, so I wasn’t able to train her very well. But she trained me to open the door with just one little bark. It was the only time she would bark.

7. Sometimes you look bad on the way to looking your best.

She looked like a wet rat at bath time, then was soft and silky when dried.

8. When you’re afraid of the storm, running away from it just makes you more afraid and usually gets you into trouble.

BT was terrified by a thunderstorm in the middle of the night, so I slept with her on the couch. At 4 am, she insisted on going outside. After a few minutes, I called her to come back in, but she didn’t. I laid on the couch waiting, but couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t coming. I couldn’t see anything when I went out looking for her in the dark, so I went back inside and waited. 

At 7 am, my neighbor who works nights called to say he found her on the way home, in the middle of the street. She had escaped underneath the fence and had actually been running toward the storm instead of away from it. He took her home, but didn’t recognize her soaking wet. After drying her off, his girlfriend recognized her and waited until 7 to call me. 

9. Enthusiastically greeting a loved one every time they come home makes you both feel wonderful.

Tail wagging as she greeted me at the door every time. Hugs and puppy kisses.

10. Growing older with someone feels natural and strengthens your compassion for each other.

Our walks were a little slower and we chose the smoother paths that weren’t all uphill. We took our time and noticed all the wonderful little things along the way.

11. If you get upset with your loved one, forgive them quickly so you can both get back to being happy together.

Sometimes I’d get upset over messy accidents, more annoyed at the inconvenience than anything. I’d clean it up and get back to snuggling. Near the end, I was upset that she wasn’t listening very well anymore, only to find out that she truly couldn’t hear me anymore.

12. Work hard, play hard and get plenty of rest.

Repeat frequently throughout the day. It’s good to have balance.

13. Sometimes you can only see with your heart.

I knew BT had a cataract in one eye, but she was still getting around fine. When I took her to the vet when she got really sick, he said she had them in both eyes. One was a different color that looked normal, but she was actually blind in both eyes. I was amazed at how well she was getting around once I realized it.

14. When you’re dizzy and nauseous, stop struggling and snuggle.

Her illness made her dizzy and nauseous, so she couldn’t keep any food down the last couple of days. She finally stopped fighting it and just laid down.

15. Letting a loved one go can be the greatest grief and the kindest gift.

I was blessed to be with her as we said our good-byes. I gently soothed her as she breathed her last breath. Rest in peace BT, my sweety, underneath your dogwood tree.

Thank you BT for 15 wonderful years and your wisdom.

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